Family ties

I buried a friend yesterday. Not a peer but more a father figure. He was one of the most decent men I have ever known. Charles gave more than most, expected more than most were willing to give and exceeded all expectations when possible. He was married the love of his life for 46 years. They wrote notes all the time, notes about where they had gone, what they were doing and how much they loved one another. They weren't notes that were hidden for only their eyes but they were left out for all to see. Almost like a testament of how their family was growing, changing and feeling: all on paper. I was privey to be a part of the note writing for a while. It makes you feel good to know that you always have someones thought down on paper in their own penmanship. It conveys more than a well written novel in a few short words. Now the notes are not only between them, but also their children and grandchildren. I am sure somewhere Marilyn has a few friends notes tucked away for safe keeping. Now, more then ever, I am thinking those notes are a life line of a well lived life of both her son and her husband.

Write a note to someone you love, appologize to someone important before it becomes too late and pray for just one more day. Charles Murphy, you made all the difference in the world. I will miss you terribly.

Funny for the day....

In a tif this weekend I over heard our 2 and 4 year old's conversation:

Greer: "I am mad at you. You can't come in my room!"

Fiona: "I don't want to....it smells like boys!"

Thank you Olivia....my child now has a defense for her brother.

Well, our school year is now in its 3rd week. We are definately off and running. Greer is in school Monday-Friday, Fiona is in Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I am in Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. Greer has decided he wants to run track for his school. It is do-able. They only run Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 2:55-3:10. It will give him a chance to be involved at the school in a bigger than him level. He loves his teacher and she is everything we could have asked for-hanks Ms Eaton!

I was wondering how the other mother's do all of the activities and keep time for their "honey's"? I really feel that my husband puts forth so much of himself and in the end I need to give more of myself to him. Ok, Ok, not in that way but other ways. Help put the Chaos in perspective. Thanks

Homework...everyone get on board.

For as long as I can remember, I really hated doing homework. I just did not see the importance nor the relevance. I especially could not see any kind of enjoyment. Well, just as my son, I have found a new found love; learning. I am currently enrolled in two classes that at first seemed a bit daunting. They are Classical Sociological Theory and Gender and Women in the Middle East. I am learning that I need to keep an open mind, do the work and believe in myself.

The last part of that has never come easy. I think because I started with such an uphill battle, college always seemed hard. (Mind you the beer had nothing to do with the lack of application either.) I have now changed the way that I study, think about the projects and definitely less intimidated by the professors. I believe that my experience and life knowledge has helped me become a better student.

My son has the opposite problem....he doesn't have homework. Everyone else is in 1st grade or above...hence homework. Greer is so very thankful on the days that he can get the summer bridge book out and "do his homework." I think for him homework has a sense of belonging and of growing up. He only has good feelings about this process. I am so hopeful that we can stay on top of the process so he continues his love for learning.

For now, even the macaroni art makes momma very happy.

New Beginnings

I sent my G-man to Pre Kindergarten yesterday! I was full of mixed emotions: sad, happy, excited, proud and a bit melancholy. He is my first to enter the world of "school". We went to mother's day out one day a week for the last two years but that is still not the same. He wears a uniform, I pack a lunch everyday and he will inevietably make and lose friends, get his feelings hurt and make great successes. All unseen by me. That is why i am starting to be a wee bit sad.
I love being his person cheerleader. I waited for 36 years to cheer him on. Yes, I still have Fifi to keep me company and see all of her amazing acomplishments but I am giving one of my own to the public school system. The system that is all about test scores; rather than my childs interest and keeping the cafeteria on the bottom dollar; rather than making nutrition non-optional.

I am certainly the same person that I have always been but now I am driven by a purpose greater than myself. I want what is best for my children. I want teachers who genuinely care about children (thank you to Mrs. Eaton, we have that) and know how to appropriately teach them according to their skill level and interest.

My other cause for silliness- nutrition. It is my option as an adult to feed myself crap. It is my duty as a parent to feed my children a very balanced and planned out meal or snack. I am not talking about the elaborate five course dinning experience but a simple plan of offering meat, veg, fruit and minimal starch, sugar and salt at every meal. I am more and more inclined for our front yard to be a garden but I have brown thumbs it seems.
What are the points that cause chaos for you as a parent?

Hot days...Fun activities!

There comes a point every summer that the good intentions and summer arsonal of activities has been all used up. Well, here we are. I am digging into the arsonal of activities that have yet to be done this summer.

Kool Aid Painting
1 Package of Kool aid (any flavor)
Clear Corn syrup

Mix the two until you reach a consistency of finger paint. It smells wonderful and taste good too. BUT it stains, so make this an outside activity and then use the hose to spray off.

Kool aid can also be added to water and put into spray bottles for some fun color tag. Kind of like laser tag but much less expensive!

The following are websites that the kids have had so much fun on (and are parent approved):

www.clubpenguin.com

www.meddybemps.com

www.enchantedlearning.com

www.coolmath4kids.com

We have gone to vacation bible school this year and everyone thoroughly enjoyed it! The songs were great and we now own them and know them back and forth. It is nice to meet the needs of those 2 1/2 to 10 all in the same move. We have chosen to do different things this year because quiet frankly, I think we are all bored with the Zoo and the Aquarium. It is nice to have the break because they are fun outings after school when everyone is done with homework.

Borders ran a great book give away. If your kids read 10 books they received a paperback for free and they had 10-12 selections to choose from. They were popular books so it made getting the kids book reports done easy! Thank you Borders, we love to read. On Thursday we will finish the library program and go in for our summer loot. I especially love the coupon booklet because this gives us activities for free on fridays after school. Thank you, Tulsa Library!

This weekend is tax free weekend so be sure to get your school list made and organized. We have successfully bought all uniforms (at Academy, of course) and the supply list is marked off and in the back pack. I am not one to save 8% and fight those crowds!

For the next few weeks of summer, we are going swimming, to museums and maybe for a couple of bike rides. Thanks to my Brother in law and sister in law we now have enough bikes for all to ride!

The camp Chaos comes swiftly and calms again just as fast. We all seem to live through to tell another tale of summer fun and look forward to new classmates and showing off our tans. I think I will sit here while the kids nap and smeel their new boxes of crayons. I loved the start of school!

Life is good...

We have been so very fortunate this summer. We have been on vacation to St. Louis (love this city), had a family reunion for my Mil's side of the family, kids spent a week with cousins, visited with cousins from out of state and just played in a relaxing, summertime way. Oh, we also attended Vacation Bible School and learned some really great songs! We still have the museums in town to do and some of the chaos is going to sleep away camp for the first time! I love when memories are made.

As a Mom, I often wonder if I am doing the right thing? Ok, am I keeping my children from being warped?
I need to report that our family has made great strides in communication this summer. We have learned about "Love and Logic", "Easy to love, Difficult to discipline" and "Respectful Parents, Respectful Children". I am always striving to better myself as a mother, student, wife and just me in general. I think that even with my background it is easy to have the moments of "I really wish I hadn't said that..."
By reading the books, I remembered it is easy as:

1. remembering to model the behavior wanted
2. putting the responsibility of choices back onto children
3. giving hugs even when it is really difficult

These things have made a HUGE difference in our home. Keeping the Chaos to a minimum.

Activist at Large!

I went to meet the family at the school to play last night. I was passing by the dumpster and .....disappointment, anger and happiness crossed my mind. I found it filled with teaching supplies. They are not inexpensive, to say the least, and I wondered how much of my tax dollars were in the trash. I was happy because it gave me reason to finally dumpster dive. It also gave me 3 bottles of tempura paint, a large container of paste, a large container of sea shells, 2 large bottles of media mix, a very large board book, bulletin board letters, tracing materials and 6 mixing buckets.
Now, I know that teachers spend many of their own dollars on supplies but if the teacher was not in need anymore then why didn't they pass it on to another? It made me selfishly want to go to the other schools and see what was in their trash dumpsters. Not only to see what I could use but to see what kind of waste we have decided was okay. I am so very disturbed by the lack of concern for our wasteful nature in the United States. It is not only bad for our environment but we have become the "Nation of throw away." We throw away everything that is not useful to us anymore. Our food, clothes, furniture, electronics, marriages, friendships. Is there anything that is just not disposable?
Help me make sense of this Chaos.

Making a better life...

We always thought we had a pretty good diet as far as nutrition goes. Well, that was until we took a serious look at what was being consumed as "special treats". I am by no mean giving up my ice cream for rice dream but we started with planting a garden and trying to make as much as possible from scratch. Our other goal is to clean up our diets in a manner that works for us.

I adore salads, grilled veggies and well made meats. We started investigating our diet and food while taking a Human Ecology class. It turns out that Jamie Oliver also released the "Food Revolution" at the same time. I decided that we had gotten away from what we really stood for. I am by no means the poster child of health. I am over weight, do not exercise and recently quit smoking. It is my turn to give back to myself and my family.

Our garden has: onions, tomatoes, chives, basil, lettuce and green bean seeds (we will see if they come up!). We used a plot of land that is not really good for anything else. Maybe a flower bed.

I would rather have veg. We will see how it goes and I will post pictures to show our progress or demise.

It is my way of calming the inner chaos. What calms your chaos?

Walking on Sunshine

I have waited a very long time it seems to be able to work outside with my children. They are finally at an age where I can trust them to stay in the yard. I have always wanted to be a gardener; alas I have a brown thumb. My husband and I made a raised box garden in a "wasted space" in our side yard. It now holds about 25 bags of topsoil, manure, and peat. I also has 3 tomato plants, 30 sweet onions, 1 large chive plant and 4 lettuce plants. I am hoping to add some okra and maybe some more tomato plants. I will post pictures as we go. If I can do this ~ anyone can!

It was spurred on by the need for healthier food. We watched Food, Inc. We are not in the position to buy all organic food and this makes it easier to splurge on the things I can not grow. I am considering buying a 1/4 of a cow. This will allow us to have hormone free beef year around.

I have a friend who wants to raise chickens for the eggs. I think I will leave that to her. I only think I could be that kind of a girl. I am by no means a fanatic about this situation, however I am growing great concern for the things that are placed in our home. Maybe it is parenting, maybe it is age, maybe it is knowledge. I am not sure but I do think it is a swing for the better.

Join us in our quest to have healthier and more productive lives. The Chaos is only fun when it benefits you!

A New Birth

It is Spring, Easter, the Resurrection of Christ and the warm air. All things good. It seems to bring new opprotunites as well. I am continuing on my journey to finish my degree, G-man will be starting Pre-K in the fall and Fifi will start going three days a week to Mother's day out. Greg is working like a mad man at getting the yard and garage cleaned up. I think we are so ready for the simpler things in life. We are planning to install a french drain in our backyard. This will catch the runoff from the yards up the street from us and allow our yard to stay in place. Hopefully this year we will also have a garden and grass in our backyard. What are you doing to calm the Chaos at your home?

Erma Bombeck is my hero!

Ok, so sometimes the chaos happens after the big kids leave. My daughter has eczema and we apply vaseline every night after her bath to keep her from itching. Tonight I did said activity, got her dressed and hopped on the computer while my husband took a phone call and dressed our son. About 10 minutes after both were dressed I heard my husband say "What is that on your stomach?" My first thought was- Poop! Nope. Vaseline. He had it all over his jammies, hands and stomach but little sister had it in her hair, on her hands, in her mouth, on her face and on her jammies. It was another turn in the shower for both and another pair of jammies. Then I found the Bob the Builder computer- covered inside and out with vaseline! Wow, they had fun. I hope the computer can be salvaged.
This is when the words of Erma Bombeck come swimming through my head to remind me that every parent has these moments, survives and decides whether or not to forge ahead in laughter or to let the moment defeat you and miss out on the memory.
I had a good laugh to myself and noted to myself that the kids are set for the cold weather and we need more vaseline!
Sometime you just have to laugh and enjoy the Chaos.